Welp!

Me: relationships are way too much work.
Jared, upon reflecting on this: then why don't you just be single, like me?!

Yes, 10-year olds are very wise indeed.

#Smartass

Spring break is almost upon us.

Me: Alex, where do you guys want to go for spring break?

Alex: basement!

Me: um.... No?

Alex: I hear it's both entertaining and affordable. 😀

Me: &@$%¿!!!!

Me: no, you are not spending the ENTIRE spring break playing games.

Alex: but mom, think of all the money you'd save..........

He's A Silver-Lining Kinda Kid?

Alex, coming back from walking Sammy, said: It's raining ice outside!

Me: That's called sleeting?

Alex: Well, worse than sleet. It looked like I was covered in dipping dots.

It's all a matter of prospective

After our annual school supply shopping trip, I commented on how expensive school supplies are. Alex made a face and claimed that this was to make sure he was getting a good education. :-/

And...

Alex: I'm sure Christmas was more expensive.

Me: oh don't worry, it doesn't have to be!

Alex, with a big mischievous grin: ah, but Christmas is motivation....

............

He's got a point

In trying to find this one structure above ground that my dad saw and was determined to find, meandering thru the ever confusing underground PATH in Toronto (I'm sure it's not for the natives), we were hopelessly lost. Having no sense of direction didn't help the matter any either... So I stopped in the security office to ask for directions. (Apparently no one else that works in the various shops in the PATH even knew what I was talking about and all unanimously referred me to security. W.t.f.)

Anyway... So adorably stereotypical, everyone other word out of the security guard's mouth was "eh." Didn't help the matter that Jared was wearing a touristy t-shirt that says "Canada, eh."

As soon as we left the security office, both kids started mimicking the guard and adding "eh" to everything they say.

That is until Alex stopped abruptly: "Canada has eh, in America we have "like" and "ummm". Umm... Right? Like this is how we talk and like, umm, let's not find this place and like, let's get outta here."

Fair. Point.

You can imagine what the conversations were like after that.... To make matters worse, Jared added in the valley girl accent... So if you were in Toronto last week and saw a bunch of Americans (Chinese looking of course, though I dunno how one can tell we were Americans) walking down the street talking funnily and laughing their heads off , that was probably us. Oops.

Why Did I Bother...

Me, upon hearing little footsteps: what are you doing?

Jared, in a hushed voice: I'm being invisible.

Then promptly disappeared.

Not All Apps Are Created Equal

Having 2 boys, I am finally more accustomed to the talk of bodily functions. Sorta.

Jared: My poop is sick.

Pause.

Me: uh... thanks for sharing, but um, would you care to explain why you think your poop is sick?

Jared. Well it says it's 10% happy, 20% sad, and 100% ill.

Me, exasperated: Who's this "IT?" Your poop talks to you now?

Jared: You know I've been taking care of my poop!

Me: No, um can't say I have.

Jared: You know that game where you take care of your poop?? It says it's happier outside.

Oh that dreadful app game!

Me: Well everybody poops, so they say.

Jared: This is true. Look at my poop, it seems to be doing better now. I love my poop.

Me: oh no no, I don't need to look at your poop. Really. Thanks for offering.
................

It's surprising how many of my blog posts end with "......................"